Cinematical

I now take back any defense I gave Katherine Heigl for her comments about Knocked Up. I was already on my way there when I heard about The Ugly Truth and its premise where a smart and successful woman turns to a chauvinist to learn about nabbing her beau. I hit the brink with the second trailer where she actually tries to deep throat a hot dog and stick out her chest to get the guy, while he says every pervish thing he can think of. And now ... now there's vibrating underwear.

In the clip after the jump, so appropriately coming to us from Coming Soon, Heigl's character gets a little vibrating gift as she gets ready for a date. She decides to put on the panty rocket and then gets whisked off on a half-date/half-business meeting. At no time does she decide to excuse herself to take off these things, and in fact, gets into some hot trouble when the remote falls into the hands of a kid at the next table. Heigl channels When Harry Met Sally, poorly I might add, and Gerard Butler watches in amusement.

Heigl... How any woman who notes chauvinism in a Judd Apatow movie can then take on this schlock is beyond my comprehension. Furthermore, take away Butler's charm and put ... hmm ... let's say Steve Buscemi into the role -- is it still all romantically funny, or does it get downright creepy? Actually, now that would be a movie -- The Ugly Truth, where a romcom tries to deliver this bull pucky to audiences without a dapper leading man to make it palatable.

Did you watch the New Moon trailer and wonder if wolfy Jacob would've been any more scary if he could morph into a little guinea pig?

You may have noticed that little hairy beasts are fighting their way to the big screen later this month with G-Force. To help kick off the film, which opens on July 24, Electric Spoofaloo has been holding a contest. Viewers pitch ideas for spoof trailers featuring the little hairy beasts, they're voted on, and then the site makes the pitches come to life.

There's a faux Harry Potter that isn't all that funny, but Spoofaloo really hits the nail on the head with their take on the New Moon trailer (which you can see after the jump). It works so well that it seems like Stephanie Meyer's world was just destined for guineadom. There's the dramatic kiss, and then Bella's cataclysmic paper cut that sends her whole life into upheaval. (Whoever knew that paper could be so destructive? Good thing no one ever got one at school during the few years Jasper went to Forks High.)

From beginning to end, it's all there, right down to a ridiculously beefy guy filling in for Taylor Lautner and exploding into a guinea pig -- one that looks just as frightening as that big, fluffy wolf. How sad is it when your menacing animal can be easily replaced by a hand-held pet? I mean, I have a tendency to think lots of scary animals look cute, but that's the least menacing movie wolf I've ever seen!

There are a million reasons not to have a sequel to Heathers, but maybe if they made the whole production a little closer to real life, it'd have some possibilities -- because Veronica Sawyer has gone batsh*t insane! Remember how Winona Ryder was, once again, talking about a Heathers sequel last month? And how she swore up and down that it was in the works this time? And that Christian Slater would be back in an Obi-Wan-type role?

Well, it's ALL in her head. Movieline talked with director Michael Lehmann, and he said: "Winona's been talking about this for years -- she brings it up every once in a while and Dan Waters and I will joke about it, but as far as I know there's no script and no plans to do the sequel. A couple weeks ago everyone started talking about it and I guess Winona said the movie was gonna get made, and I thought, 'I don't know, maybe they did this without me?' But I got in touch with Dan Waters and he said he didn't know anything about it. So I don't think there's any truth to it."

Winona, let it die already. I find it kinda creepy that you keep sparking this rumor mill with the same stories -- all of which have had no basis in truth, if Lehmann is to be believed. I've been reading these rumors for over a frakking decade. I adore the film as much as you do. I've seen it more times than I can count, and I can recite it from beginning to end, but sometimes things come to an end. But ... Moby Dick is dunked. The white whale drank some bad plankton and splashed through a coffee table. Now it's someone else's turn to take the helm of teenage dysfunction.

Same-sex love is most definitely in the air. I already wrote about Julianne Moore and Annette Bening were coupling up for a new film today, but they're not the only ones. In a Thelma and Louise meets The Bucket List move, The Hollywood Reporter posts that Oscar winners Olympia Dukakis and Brenda Fricker will star in a new road trip comedy from Thom Fitzgerald called Cloudburst.

Dukakis and Fricker will play a couple who have been together for 30 years. Itching for a little adventure, the two "break out of a nursing home and head to Canada to get married, picking up a young, male hitchhiker along the way." I can't begin to count the ways these two films are great. Both have long-term lesbian couples, played by women with oodles of talent, and in this case, feature an older generation of actresses -- a theme which seems to be slowly gaining momentum in Hollywood as the boomers get older.

I've got to wonder -- are these gigs thanks to the anger incited by Prop 8? It's rare to get one LGBT film, let alone two at the same time. Whatever the case, it's a nice and refreshing change to see some originality heading towards Hollywood. Think Dukakis and Fricker can give Sarandon and Davis a run for their money?

When a show that struggled to make three seasons, with two complete reboots, gets tapped for a feature film, you don't hold your breath in anticipation. Last August, we learned that Rob Thomas and Kristen Bell were meeting to discuss turning Veronica Mars into a feature film. That news was confirmed by Thomas in January, and it sounded like things would work out and actually head into production.

But the tide is finally turning to the expected demise. EW's Ausiello talked with Bell at the Saturn Awards, and she said: "I don't think it will ever happen, and here's why: [Series creator] Rob Thomas and I had a powwow, and we were both 100 percent on board. We took our proposal to Warner Bros. and Joel Silver told us that there is no enthusiasm [there] to make a Veronica Mars movie, and that is unfortunately a roadblock we cannot compete with."

Can't say that's a surprise. When I spoke with Silver at TIFF last year, he said he was open to discussion about the idea, but didn't sound exactly keen. And speaking as a big fan who loves Bell's Mars, I can't say I blame him. If the audience wasn't there for the show, they're not going to be there for a feature film, no matter how much we'd wish it so.

Oh, Chris Klein. In the beginning, he made a decent go of things. He was in that little American Pie flick, and he found the perfect role in Election. While almost every square inch of that film held greatness, I'm not sure it would've been nearly as fun without his innocent yet horny Paul Metzler. But just like Michael Cera has to grow up one of these days, Klein can't play the innocent sensitive teen forever.

So he grabs a gig in Street Figher: The Legend of Chun-Li. It didn't go so well. In fact, when William Goss alerted us to some YouTube goodness about Klein's role, he said: "I can see the [Razzie] for-your-consideration ads now: 'Can only be described as epic in its awfulness' ... 'I can't remember the last time I watched an actor fail to walk into a room convincingly' ... 'So wooden that he makes Keanu Reeves seem like Don Knotts.'"

Perhaps it's wrong to kick a guy when he's already down; however, I couldn't help but alert you to a little gem over at Latino Review. They screencapped a bunch of the wonderful faces Klein dons during the film. There's lots of jaw-dropped shouting, but my favorite is the creepy snap to the right. I'm thinking he can team up with Christian Slater for a big-forehead buddy film. It's gotta be a better fit than these action movies...

What do you get when you mix Annette Bening, Julianne Moore, and Mark Ruffalo in a comedy? A same-sex couple and one eager sperm donor. (Bet you weren't expecting that!) Variety reports that the trio, plus Josh Hutcherson (Bridge to Terabithia) and Mia Wasikowska (Alice in Wonderland), will star in a new film called The Kids Are All Right.

Bening and Moore are playing a couple who long ago used donated sperm to start a family. Years later, when their son and daughter (Hutcherson and Wasikowska) have grown up, they want to find the man behind the sperm. So, they hunt down Ruffalo's character, and he "totally upsets their family dynamic once he enters their lives."

This project is coming from Lisa Cholodenko, which bodes particularly well for the already-unique story. You might remember that she's the writer and director of Laurel Canyon, one of the few films to show the lovely Frances McDormand as a beautiful and carefree woman, rather than a quirky gal steeped in kitsch.

So, a filmmaker who can challenge the norm, a same-sex couple played by two multi-Oscar-nominated actresses, and an original storyline to boot? Pinch me, I must be dreaming. The film just started production, so I can only hope we get to see how this all pans out soon.

With a few new musical biopics headed our way, there's a question to consider: Just how musically inclined should an actor be when they take on the role of a musician?

We expect a lot from the pros -- good chemistry, believable delivery of lines, sincere emotion -- but what about musical aptitude? We'll discuss whether the actor looks the part, but less often challenge whether they can hit the right notes. Sometimes it surely doesn't matter. If the band's music is simple enough, the skills can be learned before shooting. Thanks to the wonder of dubbing, if it's just singing, only the showmanship and performance matter. (Although there are times that actors can surprise with both, like Val Kilmer's stunning embodiment of Jim Morrison in The Doors.)

But when it comes to more talented musicians, it's not so easy to fake. If one is iconic enough to be immortalized once again on film, shouldn't the performance show that artistry? Some itch for James Franco to become Jeff Buckley in that upcoming biopic, but he's the one hopeful without any musical talent -- and no matter what he could learn on the fly, it wouldn't come close to Buckley's, well, Grace. Why bother with the project if we can't watch the notes flow through the fingers as they grasp the strings or pound the keys?

It looks like wolves won't be sharing the spotlight with vampires much longer. While our moon-led friends pop up in the likes of Underworld and the upcoming New Moon, a werewolf frenzy has taken over Hollywood, and there are no signs of it stopping, and no corner it won't touch. Less than two weeks after Teen Wolf was set to get the remake treatment, The Hollywood Reporter posts that Dimension Films is looking to remake John Landis' An American Werewolf in London. (Confirming a tip from Bloody Disgusting on Sunday.) Because apparently, no one is interested in making a new wolfy story.

This whole plan is still in the early stages, but per usual remake plans, Dimension wants "to make an elevated genre picture that will keep the fun comedy elements of the original as it seeks to be relevant to contemporary audiences." Relevant how? The wolf loves a girl in love with a vamp, and then finds an uber-creepy way to stay in her life?

Most remakes bring, at best, apprehension, but I really wish companies would stop with the cult classics. Or, at the very least, not all foam at the mouth to remake them. Dramas, action, horror -- these genres can often get remade well, because most of the success relies on quality and craft. But comedy and cult? It's as much about the time and place as it is about the talent involved.

Fine. Take our excellent Landis wolves and remake them. Make them "relevant." But whatever is done, I bet it won't be a cult classic, nor worthy of the name An American Werewolf in London.

It sounded promising when Jason Lee was set to get Thicker back in 2008. Perhaps we'd finally get another taste at the old Lee, the one that made every Kevin Smith movie he graced all the tastier, especially when he'd rant away with all of his comedic snarkiness. He may have left that film, but Lee found an even better project to fill his now Earl-free days. Variety reports that he, along with Michelle Trachtenberg, have signed on for roles in A Couple of Dicks -- Kevin Smith's first project not written by his own pen.

The film, which stars Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan, focuses on two cops who search for a stolen baseball card, rescue a sexy Mexican woman, and face gangsters. With the buddy cop roles long-filled, Lee won't have much face time, but hopefully it will be quality face time. While Trachtenberg plays Willis' daughter, Lee will play her stepfather.

At least it's something. Not a lot, but a hell of a lot more interesting that the family fare that Lee keeps doing. That being said, and even loving Willis' classic cop ways, I wish Lee was taking the role. Wouldn't he make an excellent gruff detective? (If he can't be the new Fletch, he could at least get a blockbuster buddy cop film! Willis and Morgan are already a far cry from the originally cast Robin Williams and James Gandolfini.)

But maybe better fare is on the horizon. What sort of starring role would you like to see Jason Lee take on?